I open my mouth and 9 times out of 10 I want to bury myself under a rock 30 seconds later. 

I’m a clumsy fuck and a stupid fuck and a general societal terror. I may even be more hideously unfit to be out in public than Mrs. Bennet. Which is really pretty sad. Really. But I do in fact say just as many singularly unfortunate things as she does. 

Maybe I just got too good at being alone in my room feeling miserable and at the same time absolutely self fulfilled. I don’t know how not to be socially retarded anymore. It’s time for me to just admit defeat and retreat to my hermitage in the forest. Or at the top of some mountain. I am not a people person. I am barely even a person. 

Why am I not in possession of unending good looks and charm? Everything would just be so much easier…